Cambodia Trip 2012

As most of you know I will be returning to Cambodia in 1 month!  And this time my brother, Nathan, is coming along :)  We will be leaving June 13th flying out of South Bend, IN with layovers in Chicago and Seoul, Korea then arriving in Phnom Penh on June 14th.  Once in Cambodia Nate and I will be staying at the Sanctuary Guesthouse in Toul Kork.  We will be doing many many things in our short 2 week trip!  I have kept in contact with many people I met last summer thanks to Facebook :)  Nate and I will be helping teach in the schools, Asian Hope International School and Logos International School.  We will also be visiting and spending time with Haley's House Orphanage where my little boy, Moses, lives. I am also very very excited to see and spend time with Vibol and his family and introduce them to my brother!  

Already, there have been many blessings through this trip!  After praying about visiting Cambodia this summer, Nathan expressed interest in coming with me and then we came up with some dates that might work.  After planning the trip, I was still praying about if this was what God wanted.  I was a little worried about going over there on my own without a group like last time so I just prayed that God would let me know if it was something I should do.  God then of course answered me a couple weeks later!  I was at school and a bunch of people came into my classroom smiling with flowers and a plaque.  They presented me a travel grant I had applied for earlier in the year!  They presented me with a grant that was the exact amount of my plane ticket to Cambodia!  I was then like, "Okay God, I guess I am going to Cambodia!"  Since receiving the grant, my co workers jumped on board and wanted to help.  After letting them know how they could help, they decided to work together to support a child at haley's house orphanage for a year.  Within a month, we raised enough to support a little boy named Chayya!  (pictured below)

So many blessings already and we haven't even left!  I am so excited but am still a little nervous considering Nate and I will be traveling by ourselves.  Please be praying for our trip and that God will keep us safe and use us to serve Him and the people of Cambodia!

God's Plan

I am realizing that God’s purpose for me in Cambodia was very different from what I thought it would be.  I guess it’s just a reminder that our plan is many times not the same as God’s plan for us.  When I first decided to come to Cambodia I thought of it more as a chance to change the lives of many people in Cambodia by teaching and sharing with them about God.   While I do think I did impact many people’s lives by being here, loving everyone God put into my life and teaching English and about God’s love, I think God had a plan even bigger for me than just that. 

God has used this trip to change my life.  He has done this by placing special people in life and placing me in certain situations that have taught me important lessons that I may have not recognized or just ignored in my comfortable and normal life at home.  It amazes me that God could have easily used someone in Ohio to come into my life and teach me these lessons or He could have sent another Khmai person into Vibol and his families lives to bless them, but instead He sent me all the way around the world to bless and be blessed.  His plan is SO different, intricate and perfect that we can never understand it fully.  I love this about God.  He is truly amazing that He would make up such an intricately perfect plan for EVERYONE.  A plan that has joy, pain, happiness, sadness, highs, lows, in-betweens, surprises, disappointments and the list goes on.  And all we need to do is trust in His plan for our life and follow Him and His will for our lives without doubt when times get rocky.

“And if destruction’s what I need then I’ll receive it Lord from thee.”

-Hurricane by, Jimmy Needham

I think about these lyrics when I am going through a tough time.  I just remember God’s plan may not always be happy or joyful, but whatever it is it is happening for a reason.  I leave tomorrow to go back to Ohio, which is a bittersweet for me.  Today has been a day full of goodbyes, crying, hurt, laughter, joy, sadness… pretty much an emotional rollercoaster.  Saying goodbye to the people I have come to love made me wonder why God would let me get so attached to people I had to leave.  It’s all a part of His plan!  His perfect plan for my life.  So I will receive it and know that God has it under control J  I am just thankful for the opportunity to love these people and feel loved in such a way that it does hurt to leave.  If we love someone with all our hearts we will most likely feel hurt at some point and without love there is no happiness and laughter.  I would never trade the love I have felt here for anything even if it hurts to leave!

Thank you so much to everyone who has been praying for me, encouraging me, writing me, or any other form of support.  I am truly blessed to have such amazing people in my life at home supporting me through this journey.  I love you all sooo much!!

(Carin and I got to go to AHIS to say goodbye to all the teachers one last time before we leave! )

(Saying goodbye to Vibol)

 

A Giving Heart

I’m so use to giving at church on Sunday morning and then occasionally giving a little bit more on certain occasions where I feel like God may be leading me to do something for someone but never beyond my comfort zone.  Being in Cambodia has made me realize what it really means to give.  I don’t think it is just putting a ten or twenty in the offering plate on Sunday morning or putting your spare change in a Salvation Army bucket at Christmas time, although that is very important.  I think it is also about always being aware of what God may want you to do to give beyond your weekly giving.  It may not be possible for my giving to always be financial giving, but how else can I give?  Maybe it’s just going to visit someone who can’t get out, doing housework for someone, by cooking a meal for someone or by writing a note to someone telling them how much they mean to you.  Whether giving financially or giving through action I think it is important to give beyond what is comfortable.  I have had the privilege to experience people who give and give and give even if it means they will not get as much as they gave. 

For example:

I was at Vibol and his families house and the uncle brought home 5 bamboo stalks filled with rice and beans for dinner.  Since I was there, there weren’t enough for everyone to have 1.  I assured them that I was fine and didn’t need one, but the grandma insisted on sharing hers with me.  She shared hers with me and even made me eat the rest of hers.  This wasn’t the last time something like this happened. 

Several mornings at school Vibol or Mongkol would come into school and bring me an iced coffee(my favorite!) or some other kind of drink.  I know they don’t have much money but they have such giving hearts.

I encountered a giving heart again when I was at Haley’s House orphanage hanging out with Moses.  He was given two pieces of candy.  The kids seemed like they hadn’t had candy forever by observing how excited they got over one or two pieces of simple hard candy.  Moses quickly ate one and put the other in his pocket for later.  About a half hour later we were playing and he pulled the piece of candy out of his pocket and held it up to me and said, “Mam!”.  I realized he was trying to give me his last piece of candy and I said “No, no you have it!”  He then began to unwrap it and pick it up with his fingers and put it towards my mouth saying “Mam, Mam”!  So I agreed and ate it.  I was just amazed that a little boy who loved candy was willing to give me his piece just out of the kindness of his heart.  He wasn’t being told to give it to me, he was just being a very kind and giving little boy.   

A girl from the neighborhood near Logos named Seleena gave me a  little stuffed animal the other day.  She was carrying it around all over which is probably one of the very few stuffed animals she may have and she looked at me and gave it to me.  I went to give it back to her after looking at it and she motioned No and then  pushed it back towards me and smiled.  The fact that a girl who has next to nothing wants to give ME something really amazes me.  She knows I am from the U.S. which in Cambodia is associated with wealth.  So she knows I have more money than her , yet she is giving me things. It just amazes me.

After experiencing these acts of charity for me, I started to think about what I spend my money on and what I spend my time doing.  Do I spend my money or time serving others?  Sometimes.  But I think I could do more, which may not always be convenient for me, but as you hopefully read in my earlier blog it’s not about me”.  This is going to be a huge challenge when I go back to the states and money is more important and more people focus on how much money you have.  I just pray that I will be able to stand firm when it comes to giving more and giving to the point where I may not always be able to do all the extra things I want to do. 

Let Yourself Love

I have always thought I was a pretty loving person.  I love people and I love being around people.  I love having friends and building relationships with people.  I love a lot but do I really let myself love?  I look around in Cambodia and the meaning of love seems to be different than what I had originally thought it to be.  It’s a rare thing called “true love”.  When Khmai people love, they love with their whole hearts.  They don’t just say, I love you or you’re my best friend and then go on with their lives.  When someone says they love you, they really truly deep down love you and would be willing to do ANYTHING for you.  I have experienced this kind of love from the people here several times now. 

Vibol and his family- This is a family who has known me for about 5 weeks.  I have been invited to their house twice, went to see the ultrasound for their baby, was invited to be there when the baby was born, was invited to visit the hospital several times, was invited to their small Khmai church on Sunday and Vibol always makes sure I have a safe way to get places and am being taken care of.  This family goes out of their way to love me everyday!  Dany can barely communicate with me because of the language barrier but she tells Vibol to make sure I get home and to invite me to come to the hospital and always smiles and me and says Thank you, thank you, thank you and gives me a hug when I come or go.  I am just overwhelmed by the love they have shown me in such a short amount of time.  Although they have very little to give, they give whatever they can.  When they love, they truly love without end!  I feel like I am almost part of their family and I have only known them a short time.  This is true love!

Moses- This little boy has no mom or dad.  He was found wandering the streets and has no recollection of who he belongs to.  You would think he may have trouble trusting or loving, but he loves with all his heart.  I can tell this through his actions.  When I come to visit him, he clings to me and holds my hand and grabs my arm the whole time.  The other day when I was hanging out with him, he saw the burn on my leg from the moto.  He said “Mamm!!!” and pointed at my burn.  There were 3 flies on my burn so Moses took his hand and fanned them away.  They kept coming back, so he fanned again and kept fanning for the next like 10 minutes until they were gone.  It was so sweet to see him care enough about me that he would fan my leg for 10 minutes to take care of me and make sure the flies didn’t touch my burn.  He also had a cut on his leg that the flies kept landing on.  He ignored the flies on his leg and continued to fan mine.  He also did something similar when we were walking through a muddy area.  He would point and say “Mamm!!!” and kind of pull me away from the mud.  I felt so honored and loved when he wanted to make sure I was protected.  He didn’t care about himself when the flies were around, he only cared about me.  He did this because he loves me and wanted to take care of me even though he has only hung out with me 2 or 3 times.  Throughout the times I have seen him, he has always been very protective of me making sure I didn’t get hurt.  It’s his way of showing love to me.  It’s so precious to see a little boy already loving someone he met 2 or 3 times and already wanting to protect me and keep me safe.  This is true love!

This kind of love isn’t easy.  It requires the person to “let themselves love” to a point where they may get hurt.  It requires us to follow Gods Word when he asks us to “love your neighbor as yourself”.  Love your neighbor or those around you AS much as we love ourselves.  That’s love!  Putting others before yourself without any selfish desires.  Truly doing something for someone else and not yourself.  Love is letting yourself care about someone to the point where you are willing to get hurt when you have to say goodbye whether for a short period of time or forever. 

I have loved, but have I let myself love to the point where I could get hurt?  Not often.  Normally it’s just easier to say I love someone and know that I care about them a lot.  But love them to the point where I will get hurt?!  My own selfishness comes in and tells me to protect myself from getting hurt, but God calls us to love.  When God tells us to love I think he is asking us to love in a way similar to the way people in Cambodia love.  Loving with all your heart and loving unconditionally putting those you love before yourself. 

This is a huge lesson God is teaching me.  I am learning how to love again.  I am learning to let myself love to the point where I know it will hurt when I say goodbye and I may even feel a little bit broken, but I would never take back the feelings I have for these special people in my life.  What better place could God have chosen to teach me this lesson than Cambodia where it is almost impossible to not love everyone you meet! 

(Baby Gloria is so precious!  It's amazing to see God's creation up close.)

(Proud brother and sister!)

It's not about me

Aware by Salvador

Even in the little things

That never seem too big to me

and the things i thought didn't matter much at all

as simple as my daily bread to the strength i need to get out of bed

when i fly, or when i'm bound to fall.

oh it's you, in me, that i fail to see.

Make me aware, make me see

that everything i am is not all about me
so take my world, turn it around
so that the obvious can finally be found
make me aware, make me aware

When my life is hanging from a thread
and i think about the things you said
that in this moment seem so far away
help me see the guarantees that first brought me to believe
so I can make it thru another day
oh it's you, in me, that helps me breathe

Make me aware, make me see

i have been missing so much
not recognizing your touch
or acknowledging that your the reason im even here
i have been missing so much
not recognizing your touch
make me aware, make me aware

and help me see, that everything i am is not all about me

take my world, turn it around so that the obvious can finally be found
make me aware, make me aware.

~God Help Me See That Everything I Am Is Not All About ME~

Throughout this whole trip I feel like God has been telling me this.  No matter who I interact with or what I do I feel like I have been reminded that it’s not about ME or how great I am or what I am doing.  The people here don’t really care how you look or what you have or what your status is.  It isn’t about YOU, it’s about your heart and what’s on the inside.  I also think God has been wanting me to really grasp what it means to know it’s not all about me.  It’s about Him. 

For the last 3 days Aware by Salvador has been stuck in my head all day, everyday.  I was starting to get sick of it when I realized that maybe God put it in my head for a reason.  So I looked up the lyrics and was hit by this phrase.

“help me see, that everything i am is not all about me”

I thought I had grasped what this meant a while ago.  I know it’s about God, not about me, but did I really get it?  What’s that mean for everything to not be about me?  I know I struggle with this at times like many others.  God has really opened my eyes and kind of made me “aware” of what it means to KNOW it is not all about ME.  It’s easy when you’re here in Cambodia and you are giving all this time to children in order to help to kind of feel good about yourself.  Like “Wow I am just doing so many great things and this is just so great of me to volunteer all this time and help out all these kids.”  While yes it is great that I have done this, it’s not MY time or MY ability to teach or MYsupporters money that got me here.  It’s God’s.  I am just here to do His will.  When I am able to touch a child’s life I pray for them and now thank God for the opportunity and time to spend with them. 

Along with having the opportunity to help these children, God has also changed my heart and my life.  We, as a team, have been able to bless Vibol and his family by giving a baby gift and it hits me every time we do anything for Vibol when I hear his response.  Again, instead of saying ”WOW you guys are so great and so loving and so this or that”, Vibol says “Ohhh I thank God SO much for you and your team Katelyn.  God is so good and provides everything I need“.  Most times if someone gives me something I would say “aw that’s so sweet!  You didn’t need to do that! YOU are such a GREAT person for thinking of me” or something like that.  It’s so great to see how Vibol responds compared to how I may respond to the same situation.  It’s not about ME and how much I give or what I do, it’s about what God gives me to give to others and it’s about what God wants me to do with His money.  It really is ALL about Him, not me!

 

Another time when this idea of it not being all about ME came into my mind was when we were at the dumps.  The dump neighborhood is placed at the bottom of a dump yard.  It’s where all the hospitals, farmers, businesses, etc. dump all their trash.  These spots of land cost $5 per month to rent.  They are in very poor shape and were made of what little materials they had or found.  There is a ministry called Jehova Jireh, which ministers to the children living in the dumps.  They come to a building which is right outside of the dumps where they spend the day learning about God, playing games, eating, receiving an education and just hanging out in a safe environment.  While visiting, the kids clung onto us and loved on us by styling our hair, giving us pretend manicures and makeovers, etc. While there, it hit me again.  So many times I think about myself and my comfort.  Then I look around and I see… it’s not about me.  So many little things in life I get tripped up on thinking about what I want or what I “need” when there are people who live beneath a mountain of trash that when it rains smells so grotesque it is unexplainably disgusting.  They live in a small hut that is made of whatever they were able to find or dig up.  They walk through muck in order to get to a main road.  The live in the hut with their mom, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc. 

(One of the houses in the dump neighborhood)

(While walking through the dump neighborhood your eyes are constantly on the ground because the path is so muddy and rocky you don't really know where to step next)

(This is the precious little girl who clung to me and then later did my hair)

(They just love to be loved :) )

It's crazy to think that I worry or complain about such miniscule things.  I get upset when I don’t get my way or when something doesn’t go the way I had planned.  What right do I have to be upset or complain about anything?  It’s not about ME.  

Anyone I am able to bless, make smile, love, reach or share God's love with in Cambodia is NOT because of Me.  It is because God's love is shining through me and God has given me the opportunity to love them and has given me the words to say to them.  It's not about me.  It's ALL about Him.  Without Him I wouldn't be filled with joy and I wouldn't be here in Cambodia with these amazing people!

I am SO thankful for ALL of the people God has placed in my life in order to teach me these kinds of lessons.  I love that God can speak to people through others and even through a song stuck in your head.  :)

Just a few of the blessings God has placed in my life in Cambodia so far:

 (The Group:  We all bring something to the team and without one of us this team would not be complete.  I thank God for bringing each person into this team and for blessing me with the chance to know, love and work with them.)

(The Chak Family:  Words can't explain how much God has used this family to bless me.  I have learned more from this family than they will ever know.  I love them so much!)

(Moses: This little boy lives at Haley's House orphanage.  He was originally found by the workers at Haley's House walking around the streets.  He has no idea who his mother or father are and doesn't know where he is from or anything.  Haley's House took him in where he now has a home and is loved by all at the orphanage.  Ever since the day I stepped out of the van for the first time he has clung to me.  Such a blessing in my life!)

(Singhi, Seenah and Rotana: Three of the kids at the Logos neighborhood ministry.  They don't have much but they love and love and love with all of their hearts.  So sweet and so full of love!  Today Seenah gave me a stuffed beanbag object that kind of looked like a pumpkin and wanted me to have it as a gift.  My heart melted that she wanted to give me something when she has so little give.)

(Beth and Andrew:  God has blessed us with some amazing families such as The Ohlins, Leanne and Chris and Beth and Andrew.  Beth and Andrew have been such a blessing to have in our lives while we have been here.  They along with the other couples and families at Asian Hope have invited us to do things, go places, come over and make sure we are being taken care of.  We would be lost without all the love and support we have received from the wonderful people at Asian Hope)

(My class and the staff at AHIS:  I love them all sooo much and am going to miss them a lot!)

-There are so many more people who have blessed me here but that is just a few of them :)

Baby Gloria is on her way!!!

Vibol told me today that they had to go to the clinic last night again and the doctor said Gloria will most likely be born this week!!!  Carin and I traveled to the mall today to pick up a gift for the family.  :) I am SO excited to see and hold baby Gloria! Please be praying for a safe delivery!

Treasures

Matthew 6:19-21- Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 

Even if you are poor you can be rich!  You are rich with Christ’s love which is a kind of rich that outweighs any amount of money or material possession. 

I realized why I enjoy spending so much time with Vibol and his family.  His treasures are in Heaven, which is also where his heart is.  His whole family has stored their treasures in Heaven.  It’s so neat to finally be able to see this in real life.  I have read this verse in Matthew over and over, but it really makes sense now.  It is very true that where ever you store your treasures is where your heart is.  This does not mean you can't have nice things in order to store your treasures in Heaven.  The things you value most or put first would be your treasures.  So it made me think, what are my treasures? My relationship with God? My family?   My friends? My job?  My computer? The internet?  What do I value the most in life?

James 5- Warning to the Rich

In this chapter God warns those who are rich to be careful where they store their treasures.  He warns us to not live self-indulgent lives on earth because when we die none of that will matter.

It also makes me think about the life I have lived so far.  Are the things I identify as “treasures” on earth or in Heaven?  Am I living in self-indulgence or am I living everyday as if it is my last and nothing I have on earth will be coming with me?  Seeing people who have nothing makes me realize how little we really NEED.  I am starting to slowly realize why the poorest people are some of the most giving, kind and Christ-like people I have ever met.  They don’t have all of the distractions or “idols” that we tend to place before God like our tv, computer, games, job, etc..  They have very little but know that there is more to life than earthly “things”.  They learn to do without and trust that God will provide what they do not have. 

When I first arrived in Cambodia I realized that poverty almost disgusted me.  How could people live like this?  Is this fair?  Why does God let this happen to some people, yet others have so much?  This is horrible… 

I now view poverty in a completely different way.  I am almost envious of those who have very little, which may sound weird but it's true.  The people I have come to love and look up to the most are the ones who have next to nothing. 

Job 1:21- And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return.  The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away, blessed be the name of the Lord.”

This verse reminds me that when we came to earth we had nothing and when we die we will leave with nothing.  No matter how rich or poor you are on earth will make NO difference in eternity.  The only thing God cares about is your heart.         

(Seynuin and Singhi, two precious girls who come to swim every Monday and Wednesday.  They don't speak English, but are so sweet and loving.  Singhi 'on the right' gives me a huge hug when she gets to the school and then gives me kiss on the cheek before she leaves each time.  Last week I saw them outside of their house, so I got a chance to walk up and see where they live.  They have very little and if you look closely Singhi's teeth look like they are rotting. I just pray for these girls and their future.  I pray for protection over them and that they will continue coming to this day camp and hopefully learn some English and come to know God.  They really are amazing girls!)

   (This is another one of my little buddies.  He comes with the two girls above and is such a little ball of energy.  He still can't swim so when I get a chance to swim I take him into the big pool and we work on swimming. :)  He's getting it!  He's so cute and just loves to have someone pay attention to him.  He always comes in running with a huge smile on his face and jumps to reach my hand and give me a high five.  So cute!)

 

(This is McKenna, my neighbor boy.  He and his sister, Keena, live next door and speak very good English.  Our road has about 10 little kids running around but most don't know English.  So I have had the opportunity to talk to McKenna, Keena and their mom just recently which has been neat.  Their mom is Khmai and grew up right outside of Phnom Penh and their dad is from Hawaii and California.  I just love all the relationship building opportunities God has given me lately.)

(My first "tattoo" from Cambodia.  I was informed today that this is called the "Cambodian tattoo".  It's actually just a burn on my leg from the moto exhaust pipe.  Apparently since it leaves a mark it will now be my "tattoo" I got in Cambodia. lol.)

(Mongkol stole my sunglasses. lol.  This boy has pretty much stolen my heart.  I love him a lot!  Andd even the thought of leaving him pretty much makes me cry. So yeah... He and his family have completely stolen my heart. Completely.)

(Today we got to visit Haley's House, which is a Christian orphanage.  It was so amazing to see the love these kids have for anyone who will show them affection.  This is Srey Chour, a sweet sweet girl who clung to me the whole time we were there.  She did not let go for more than a minute even when walking up stairs she was clinging to me.)

(This is my buddy Moss.  He pronounced it "Moses" but write it out Moss.Thehead guy at the orphanage told me a little bit about Moss' story.  The people at the orphanage would always see Moss walking around on the side of the road.  They asked around to see where he belonged and no one knew.  Come to find out he was on his own with no home, no idea who his parents were, no one to take care of him or anything.  Haley's House then took him in.  A lot of the children at Haley's House have a mom or dad but their parents can't afford to raise them.  But Moss has no one.  Moss clung to me the second I stepped out of the van today.  He never let go.  I hugged him and loved on him until we had to leave but even then I just wanted to take him with me.  Hopefully we can come back to Haley's House so I can see these kids again and spend some more time just loving them.)

(My buddies :) )